Belly

13 weeks

This is not easy for me. I have never owned a belly shirt. I always wore a t-shirt over my bathing suit. I wear baggy yoga pants. Not too many people have seen my uncovered soft, pale underbelly. I have always struggled with my self image. If I didn't look like some skinny actress, well I just wasn't thin enough. Some girls are just naturally small, but not me. And I can't believe how the pregnancy hormones are making me even more 'robust.' How does one gain weight from hardly eating and throwing up for a month?
Whatever.

So this is not easy, but liberating for me. And fun. Mark and I are very excited to document the amazing changes that are going to happen. There won't be too much belly growth for a while, so be patient!

Pregnancy

Oh, I could ramble forever on this subject. I could have even before I found out I was pregnant. I have always been completely fascinated with conception, pregnancy, and birth. And for the past several years I have eagerly looked forward to experiencing all these things and to experiencing a tiny, unique, divine life grow right inside my belly. This thing, only 2 1/2 inches big, already moving, with fingernails and even a tiny pancreas, grew from almost nothing. What makes it grow? How does it know what to do? Where the eyelids go and how to make a brain? I have enjoyed meditating on this thought.
And then I ponder on the fact that my egg that helped sprout this little person, that egg, was inside me when I was a fetus inside my Mom in 1971. And that the egg that made me was inside my Mom, inside my Grandma in 1941! This blows me away. Isn't that mind-blowing?
I have just started to enjoy these thoughts only lately. Even though I have known I was pregnant since November 28th, I have been so very, very nauseous literally 24/7, that I have not been able to have one thought other than, "Not going to throw up...not going to throw up...not going..." Mercifully now I am feeling better and now only feel that way 10pm to 6am. I gladly accept the heartburn, constipation, and headaches in exchange. Oh, and I only fit into one pair of my jeans anymore, and none of my bras fit.
I am already focused on how everything I do, feel, think, eat, affects someone else directly. And I am so delighted in this! I accept this responsibility with such open and loving humbleness. I can imagine baby snuggled in my gooey insides and imagine I am already holding the sweet, tiny body in my hands and singing into those tiny ears. These things give me such happiness. I already have a relationship with my baby.

Coming soon... Mark Papa Covell, first belly pics, and more musings. Here is an old pic for now.

Newborn Joy

Big Announcement

Mark and I have been busy.... Here's proof:



We are very excited and delerious. More to come...

PS In case you couldn't make it out, it's a picture of tiny Baby Covell that I am hiding for now.

Top 25 Most Played

Jeesh, someone might think I am a moody goth chic.

A Year of Yoga!

Last year I made a resolution to become a yogi. It has been a fun, challenging, and introspective path. I have become so amazed at what my body can do and how I can listen to it. And I have been even more amazed at how my mind and soul have become so quiet and tolerant and more loving.
When I was a kid, I loved tumbling, climbing, playing on the swingset. And later, I jogged and did aerobics. But now, yoga is so much fun. I cannot wait to go to class, and I am always bummed when class is over. For 90 minutes my mind, spirit and body are all one, focused, working together. And the feeling of each pose and it's effect on me are so exciting. After handstands, I feel euphoric. After warrior poses, I feel so powerful. And after backbends, I feel so energized and a little high. Backbends are my absolute favorite pose.
When I have a breakthrough(successfully doing a pose after months of trying), it is such an exhilarating feeling. Here are pictures of poses that I worked and worked towards and finally got. (Well, the backbends come naturally, but the arm balances were a struggle. And the handstand I can stick for a few seconds!) Dropping back into a backbend and getting back up has been the most exciting breakthrough. And I love to see the person in class who can do a pose I can't yet, and I feel thrilled and admiration for them, and it makes me try harder.
I still need to build strength. My flexibility is there, but yoga is about the balance of the strength and flexibility. Yoga is still 100 times tougher than any gym class or video I have tried, and I love the challenge.

Things Not Found In LA

Actually, kitties can be found in LA, but not this particular kitty. And the chickens, donkeys, and that sunset cannot are rare here too.
But in Tennesse, these amazing things are everywhere!

I Miss You Too

Dave was kind enough to point out that I haven't posted in a while. In over a month! Don't cry! Here is a little update. I worked on a portrait commission, and then flew with Mark to Nashville to see his Mom and Sis. Then we celebrated the New Year's arrival at our friend Chris's house, to which I brought the famous macaroons.
The portrait was such a major project. A child's face is the most difficult thing in the world to paint. I would rather paint a cut crystal bowl full of hershey's kisses, or a trompe of a dollar bill. But I think it turned out okay.



The trip to Nashville was wonderful and completely relaxing, which made up for the punitive plane rides. After 3 years in LA, the rolling green hills, ponds, and farms were such a gorgeous sight. And there were ducks! and chickens! and donkeys! Oh, my!
Mom Marion and Holly were so fun, and we were all thrilled to spend the time together.

I have never been a big New Year's Eve celebrating person. Midnight is just so late, dammit. But I do like the idea of setting new goals and intentions for the year. When I figure them out, I will let you know.
I made macaroons to bring to the New Year's Eve party, and people flipped out over them.
Here is the recipe for the most amazing, sinful cookie you will ever have. It's like putting a creamy, chewy, sweet piece of heaven in your mouth. I am not kidding. Make these for someone you love. Hopefully, they like coconut. I bake stuff all the time, and these macaroons get the most attention. Almost as much as the whoopie pies. There are many other recipes for the whoopie pie, but Mark forbids me to try them out.

So there you have it. Portrait, ducks, and macaroons.